Thirteenth-century philosopher Thomas Aquinas once wrote: "There is within every soul a thirst for happiness and meaning." Being an introvert myself, I felt this thirst for happiness and meaning in Life from a very young age. And since being brought up in a traditional religious Christian family; God was already out of my choices to satisfy this thirst. This simply led me to prefer atheism more than religions, even though, I had a voice deep within my heart, telling me 'There is a God.' I started thinking that fame and prestige would satisfy this thirst. This led me to use my talents in singing, music and sports to gain these social status'. But, after sometime I realized that these things cannot satisfy my thirst. This led me to think, perhaps power to exercise authority over others would work out. Soon after, I found myself in making gangs and fighting with others. But again, I realized it was not a good choice either. Then, as secular movies and songs highlight, I thought a girl in life would put an end to this thirst. And to my amazement, I ended up with not just one, but many girls. Again left unsatisfied. To sum up, I tried almost everything a youth can imagine to do. Let it be spending money or having gadgets, food, girls, power, prestige, fame; you name it and I will tell you I have tried it. And all this, to realize that nothing can satisfy this thirst. This realization led me into depression and suicidal tendencies. And the last thing that I wanted to do, was to end my life. But things started changing when I entered my first year college. One day, when I was walking through the corridors of my hostel, I heard someone playing violin, very beautifully. Since I wasaddicted to rock and heavy metal music, and came to know that that person knew more than 7 instruments to play; I wanted to meet this person somehow. I met this person and found out that his life was drastically different from mine. I found him happy, joyful and peaceful even in the midst of all the problems that he was facing. Now, this was very much winsome for a person like me in that condition. And all of this happiness, joy and peace, he related it to Jesus Christ. Although I was resistant towards his belief in the beginning: his life started having an influence over me. Though slow in pace, my moral attitude started changing and I became open to the possibility of God. I left using slang languages, stopped listening rock and heavy metal music, and many more. But still I was thirsty and depressed with my life. It was at this point that I prayed a short prayer, which came from deep within my heart. I prayed, "God, if You exist; then show me what is separating You and me. If you are faithful enough to show it, then I will be faithful enough to remove it from my life." And it was on November 15-2009, that God talked to me through a vision. I saw three people in my vision. One was a boy, another a girl and the third was an unknown being (like a spirit). I saw this girl standing in a hut (a house made of grass). Then I saw this unknown being colliding with this girl. This collision suddenly became a cyclone and made the hut to fly outwards. Then I saw the boy who was standing in front of me slowly disappearing into the darkness behind him. Then again I saw this cyclone; which suddenly became a wooden cross on which Christ was hanging. And this cross fell down facing the front.I woke up from this vision and ran in search of this brother. I found him and told everything that I saw. But when I urged him to tell me the meaning, he told me that he didn't have the gift to interpret visions. He then introduced me to his sister over the phone, whom he said had this gift. After going through the vision and a short prayer, she told me that, there was something in my life which I loved more than God. And using this, Satan will create lot of problems in my life and destroy my chance for salvation. When she told me this, I realized that the vision was related to a girl with whom I was having an affair at that time. And as soon as I gave back the phone, God revealed the meaning of the vision. The girl that I saw in my vision symbolized 'the girl with whom I was having an affair with.' The boy symbolized 'myself' and the unknown being was 'Satan.' The hut that I saw symbolized my 'heart' and the cyclone symbolized 'problems'. The girl was standing inside a hut; which means that she was inside my heart. Then I saw the unknown being colliding with the girl, and the collision became a cyclone which caused the hut to fly away. And the boy disappeared into darkness and the cyclone became a cross, which fell down. Which means, Satan will use her to create lot of problems in my life, which will break my heart. This will cause me to disappear into complete darkness, and at last, lose my only chance for salvation. After understanding the meaning of this vision, I committed my life to Christ. According to what I had prayed before, God had been faithful enough to show me the reason that was separating me from Him. Now, I had to be faithful enough to remove it from my life. And I took that step. And from that day till now, two things that I can confess with absolute certainty is: 1)Firstly, my pursuit to satisfy my thirst for meaning and happiness in life, came to an end. I found out that true meaning and happiness is in Christ. 2)Secondly, I have never tasted any suicidal tendencies or any kind of depressions afterwards. And once, after giving my life to Christ; when I asked God to give me the reason for feeling empty, meaningless, depressed, joyless and unhappy before I came to know Him. He answered me in a single statement. He said, "Son, the creation is always empty without its Creator..." Now I know what Solomon meant when he said, "...all that my eyes desired I did not refuse them. I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure..." and he goes on to say, "...behold all was vanity and striving after the wind and there was no profit under the sun." -Eccl. 2:10-11 And for all those who think that this worldly pleasures can satisfy you, and still think that you can find all the answers to your problems within yourself without God; let me end my testimony by quoting Blaise Pascal: "It is in vain, O men, that you seek within yourselves, the cure for your miseries...
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