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Grief, as a feeling or emotion, can take many forms. Most involve loss of one kind or another on a personal level such as losing a close relation or friend thru death or emotional breakup. A person also experiences grief when they lose other things that are close to them, such as when they quit smoking (they grieve the loss of cigarettes) or even after a car accident (they grieve the loss of a favored car). Grief comes into our lives in many ways and learning to recognize and appropriately deal with it allow us to become a more serene, satisfied child of God. (See: Isaiah 53:4)
In this group, we will work on learning how to recognize and deal with our own grief in different areas of life, and also learn to recognize grief in others and learn how to help them. Members input here in the group is very much welcome and the only requirement for membership is that you have a desire to learn to recognize, cope, and work thru grief that you may have or help others to do so.


GROUP LEADER The Group leader for this group is Terry Stonebarger

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  • Any favorite comforting scriptures?
    • I've probably mentioned this somewhere here before but Psalm 77 revealed to me the answer to all grief years ago when my son Nicholas died. REMEMBER. Something very strengthening happens when in the face of hard stuff we choose to remember the Lord's goodness and faithfulness. That's what that particular Psalm is about .... being in a hard hard place and then REMEMBERING and how it turned the writer's thoughts to praise. His focus shifted. Ours can too.
      It is interesting to me that the Lord never gave me a specific scripture of comfort when Roy died. I suppose really when I think of it He simply gave more of HIM which is even better than one specific verse. :)
    • I have a verse that my mom would repeat to me every time I would call her if I was depressed she could tell. This verse was her most favorite verse, I do believe and it helps me out when dealing with my own depression and and other things that are stressful of that are stressful. The verse is: PS118:24 This is the day the LORD has made, We will rejoice and be glad in it. She would repeat that to me whenever she felt that I needed to put things in perspective and remember the LORD is with us always. It picks me up for that reminder which does give me something to rejoice about, as well as reminding me of Mom and how determined to get through another day without Daddy. It gave her strength and I use it for the same reason.
    • Remembering that HE is the One who gave us each day sure can set our hearts and minds to rejoicing regardless of what is going on.
    • I have one scripture, one that has helped me in almost every difficult situation, I call it my life-belt verse; that's Romans 8:28:

      "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

      That is the most incredible promise of God, that no matter what happens, or how bad it is, God will turn it to the Hos purpose and to the good ultimately, for us and for Him and His purpose, isn't that great? Doesn't that make things feel better?
    • That is such a great truth to cling to Derek. I can't tell you how many times I've said in my life particularly since Roy's homegoing how it's amazing to know that no hard thing is for nothing but God has purpose in it all... for His glory and my good. It's almost felt like a battle charge at times "for His glory and my good"
  • I think it might be helpful to discuss TRIGGERS. Have you found that there are specific triggers, things that happen or you think about that cause you your grief to sneak up on you?
    • Yes, there can be many triggers and they can come on very simply and you just have a little chuckle, but then there are those that scare the blue blazes out of me. I have one specifically about Mommy. That one is so very real when I get those feelings and thoughts, even knowing Mommy is gone and never coming back, I truly fear I maybe losing my mind. However, when that specially upsetting thought comes I tell myself to get a grip and continue on with whatever I had been doing and keep myself busy. Sometimes I think I need the men in the whitecoats to come with their special little jacket for me and take me away! Then I tell myself I'm an idiot and go on with what I was working on. Please don't call those men in the white coats to come and get me unless you make sure they will let me have my coloring books and colored pencils. (LOL) I also try to maintain a strong sense of humor. Having the ability to laugh at myself regardless of what is happening around me is a life saver at times.
    • There are so many triggers when it comes to feelings of loss or extreme grief, they fall into three boxes, Possessions, Actions and Feelings.

      Possessions: It is hard to part with a loved ones possessions after their loss, and it feels like you are wiping them away like they never existed. Doing so, as hard as it is, can save a great deal of grief in the future, however, even when we manage to do that there are still the odd item that can be found, and things like tool boxes or kitchen items that can trigger the feeling of extreme grief.

      Actions: This is when we do something that reminds us, or not being able to do something that the loved one used to do for us. It can also be places that one used to go, a favorite restaurant (even passing it in the car), a place or beauty spot that was special. Filling in forms can also be huge obstacles to get through.

      Feelings: Possibly the most obvious, it's those times when people feel very much alone, or isolated, the stronger the love bond the worse these negative feelings can be. It often feels like a part of you has been ripped out of your very soul. Having other close surviving loved ones can help, even a pet dog or cat can help, someone to live for or devote their life to. It is here that the importance of being a part of a fellowship is so important, especially if we have some sort of ministry. We all need to be a part of something, to feel needed, it may be a church or a football team, it gives us an identity, so we can say, "I am . . . . "
    • Hmmm interesting Derek. The Lord was very gracious to me several days ago in revealing to me a trigger. My children are amazing blessings but there are times since Roy's homegoing that they have in their own struggles given me attitude or been disobedient and I couldn't understand how I could be having a great day and then something with one of them would go in the wrong direction and I would eventually in the day be struck with the extreme loneliness that can take my breath away. The Lord showed me that THEIR behavior was triggering the loneliness because I was feeling undefended, unable to go to their dad for wisdom and help, nobody had my back. Knowing that brings freedom to me because I can deal with it for what it is.
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