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Aaron posted a status
Nov 30
So, the very first thing I wanna do is make a confession. I wanna be done struggling with all sin, but one in particular. I have prayed and here I am. I believe God has led me here to get the help and encouragment I need.
I struggle with sexual fantasies and lust. PLEASE, keep reading. This is a taboo subject a lot dont wanna get into, but needs to be addressed.
Now, I've been doing a lot of research on this subject within the Church and found it's far more profound then what I thought. There are a lot of Christian's struggling with this, even Christian woman. One pastor says this topic is brought to him far more than any other.
The good thing is I'm not alone, I'm not a freak. The bad thing is I'm not alone. I hope my confession can help anyone who may be dealing with the same thing.
I say sexual fantasies before lust because it doesnt involve any particular woman, but more the scenario surrounding sexual encounters, mostly surrounding pornographic scenarios. Sure, it ultimately involves vision or images of woman, but no one in particular.
I often try to fight it by not thinking about it, but thinking about not thinking about it leads to thinking about it because it requires a conscious thought to rid myself of the sinful thought. (Might have to read that slow)
I dont desire or covet any other woman, I guess, so to say. I'm not after anyones wife or some woman I know personally. An attractive woman I see may trigger thoughts, but not necessarily of them. Matter of fact, most of my thoughts dont even involves faces.
I dont know how to fight what seems to be normal, automatic images in my head. I do look away most of the time, but typically an image has been ingrained in my mind because I know what I'm not looking at.
It may seem odd that I wanna discuss it based on what I've said, but hiding it makes it worse.
My wife knows I struggle. We talk about it. She's reluctantly admitted she finds certain things about men attractive. I'm fine with it because I cant expect from another I cant deliver myself. But again, like my research has found, its a pretty significant issue many struggle with. Certain things about my wife makes me believe she has more thoughts than she willing to admit. But, this makes a person feel so dirty and worthless, I completely understand why she wouldnt. Like a modern day leper.
I'm not a pervert. I'm a Christian that recognizes his struggles with sin and confessing in hopes of some relief. I hope you all can help.

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